I haven’t written in here for a while. That could partially because I currently run another blog where my attention is focused full time. It could also be because since my focus has been on that, I haven’t really thought much about world and societal issues – until recently. Certain things have been bugging me a lot.
People in particular. So guess what; I’m back! Time to rant.
Okay as you know, I kind of really hate people. They are rude and annoying, and being around them only lets me down. I like to be alone because no one ever lets me down or disappoints me. I find I am the loneliest when surrounded by other people. Ironic isn’t it?
So what do you do when you are ALWAYS doing things for other people, and you never get things back in return? I always say ‘always do, and never expect’, but there comes a point where always doing and never getting ANYTHING including appreciation can get really damn tiring.
I have three good friends. For 1 of their birthdays, I got them a $60 Pandora charm, made a lovely collage card, and brought it to their house on their birthday. For the 2nd friend, I paid over $100 to take the train to go visit them at school, made them a big collage card, and a mixed tape with all of our favourite songs. For the 3rd friend, I made a big collage card, got them some treats and desserts, and some little gifts, and drove an hour to her University to surprise her.
And what did I get for my birthday? The 1st friend brought me a little card and a cook book, but other than that – nothing. How upsetting do you think that is? And how do you think that makes me feel? Loved? Appreciated? Hell no. I feel like shit, like no one cares about me or appreciates my friendship or the things I do. Oh and did I mention I was in Hawaii, broke my arm, and then got sick in bed for 5 days? Yep, pretty much went through hell on my birthday. But do you think anyone came to see me or visit once I got home? Ha, NOPE!
I also always do little things for everyone’s birthdays, whether it be a card, a gift card to their favourite store, a little present, or baked goods – always. And this one guy I got a card and gift card for his birthday couldn’t even wish me a happy birthday on mine. And this other guy I’m currently planning a surprise welcome home party for, who is a good friend of mine, didn’t even wish me a happy birthday either. Wow. People are so lovely.
I know what you’re thinking – stop doing things then. Okay okay, I’ll try, but it’s just hard alright? I’m a genuine nice person who genuinely ENJOYS doing things for people and making them smile. But I guess I’ll have to slow down the kindness if all I’m getting in return is dirt.