Heterosexuality and Binary Oppositions

We understand the world through binary oppositions. I know that I am not a boy because I am a girl. I know that I am not black because I am white. I know that I am not gay because I am straight.

Society has us place ourselves into these binaries – male, female, feminine, masculine, girl, manly, gay, straight, etc. But humans are so much more complex than that. We cannot simply be placed into two categories such as heterosexual or homosexual. Humans have much for fluidity than that, but society does not allow us to express ourselves that way.

imposing-heteronormativityThere’s this thing called Heterosexist, meaning that heterosexuality kind of rules the world. We live in a patriarchal society where heterosexual benefits the upper class, white male. The world is just expected to be heterosexual, so anything else is seen as weird, different, or the minority. We say terms like ‘coming out of the closet’, because everybody is expected to just stay in the closet their whole lives. Heterosexual is NORMAL. It is what everybody is unless stated otherwise.

But the term heterosexual actually came after the term homosexual. Why is this? Because society needed something to call these people who liked people of the same sex; so they created the term homosexual. “But … if they are homosexual, then what are normal people called!?? Well, let’s call it HETEROSEXUAL”, and thus the term was coined.

Heterosexual = normal. Good. Right. Everybody should be heterosexual.

Except we’re not. You know how when you see a girl on the street, and think, “wow she’s so pretty” (when you are as well a girl yourself) – that is a form of homosexual thoughts. Now, I’m not saying that everybody is bisexual or something, but if humans were truly ONLY heterosexual, then we wouldn’t even have those thoughts. That’s what I’m trying to explain here – humans are so complex. We cannot be categories in just two, maybe three categories (gay, straight, bi) We really shouldn’t be labelled as anything except for humans.

And after all, we only become what we label ourselves. If you like a person of the same sex, but never label yourself as gay, then technically, you’re not gay. If someone just chooses not to label themselves, then they don’t have to conform to anybody’s standards of how they should live.

Our sexuality is not defined by who we have sexual interactions with; it is defined by how we label ourselves.

All humans should be able to live and love freely; express ourselves how we want to without the fear of being judged. We are such complex, confusing human beings. Maybe you like boys, maybe you like girls, maybe you like both? Or maybe you don’t like anybody. Maybe you like souls, or people who are kind, regardless of whether they label themselves male or female. And we shouldn’t feel this pressure to decide and conform to societies standards.

So take it easy, and just try to truly be yourself – whoever that may be.

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